Here are my top 31 jokes in no order specifically! 31 jokes for a 31 year old! Hope you have a fantastic day and get yourself something lovely for yourself!
Joke 1
2 attennas on a roof, they fell in love and got married, the ceremony wasn't much... ...but the reception was INCREDIBLE!
Joke 2
A jumper cable walks in a bar, the bartender says "I'll serve you... But don't START anything!
Joke 3
2 cannibals were eating a clown, 1 of them asked "Does this taste funny to you!?"
Joke 4
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident, he shouted "DOCTOR! I can't feel my legs." The doctor replies: "I know... I amputated your arms!"
Joke 5
I went to a seafood disco this weekend, I PULLED a "mussel"!
Joke 6
I still remember his last words when my grandpa kicked the bucket. He asked "Hey! How far could I kick this bucket!?"
Joke 7
Why couldn't the dinosaur break through the brick wall?
Answer: I don't know! I'm asking YOU the question! xD
Joke 8
2 peanuts were walking through the park... 1 was "assaulted"!
Joke 9
What did one buttcheek say to the other?
Answer: Together, we can stop this sh*t!
Joke 10
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the beginning of a chess game?
Answer: I'll be "black!"
Joke 11
I asked my brother to pass me a leaflet... He said "Brochure!"
Joke 12
My wife is leaving me because apparently I am obsessed with astronomy... What "planet" is she on!?!?
Joke 13
I think my wife is putting glue on all my antique weapons... She denies it but I'm "sticking to my guns"...
Joke 14
A child walks into the kitchen and says to Dad "Hey, I'm hungry", Dad says "Hi hungry, I'm Dad"...
Joke 15
What was so good about the movie called "Constipation"?
Answer: You didn't see it because it "never came out"...
Joke 16
They fired me at a keyboard company. They said I wasn't putting in enough "shifts"...
Joke 17
I had 4 cans of alphabet soup yesterday... I probably had the biggest "vowel" movement ever!
Joke 18
The inventor of the throat lozenge passed away. There was no "cough-in" at his funeral...
Joke 19
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
Answer: Nobody nose!
Joke 20
What do you call an American bee?
Answer: a USB...
Joke 21
What do you call a cute door?
Answer: A-door-able!
Joke 22
Why couldn't the sailors play cards?
Answer: Because they were standing on the deck!
Joke 23
What is it like to work on a cruise ship?
Answer: It has its UPS and DOWNS!
Joke 24
What subject do cows take in school?
Answer: COW-colus
Joke 25
What is the scariest plant in the forest?
Answer: Bam-BOO!
Joke 26
I just saw a TV program on beavers... It was the best DAM program ever!
Joke 27
How do you get a Pikachu on the bus?
Answer: You "Pokemon"! (Pok-em-on)
Joke 28
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
Answer: They "crack" each other up!
Joke 29
Do you know why I don't trust stairs?
Answer: Because they are always "up" to something...
Joke 30
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know "why"!
Joke 31
What's an astronaut's favourite part of a computer?